Like Mother, Like Daughter

A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships. -Victoria Secunda

My last post was about the love story I want my daughter to grow up desiring for her life. I'm going to piggyback on that thought by telling you some things I've had on my heart this week. My daughter, 7 almost 8, is a very special child. She was my first born and her daddy was active duty air force until she was almost 4 years old. We lived in Fayetteville, NC on Ft Bragg, Pope AFB. He stayed deployed a lot so it was usually just me and her until her little brother came along. As a small child she over achieved in every area, reaching every milestone months before the "average" kid. People were shocked to hear her talk because she sounded so grown up. Even now she reads on an advanced level and seems to have a natural artistic ability. Her dad and I divorced about two years ago and he remarried within a couple of months. Needless to say, this was like turning life upside down and shaking it up for the kids. My son was 3 at the time and he seemed to handle it better. Gracey was torn apart and still questions why her family can't be together anymore. As a mom, it breaks my heart and I carry around an enormous amount of guilt. This school year we've had some issues with her behavior and I've been concerned about some things. I've spent more time these past few weeks praying for Gracey than I have her whole life. So here's what God layed on my heart:

When a shepherd finds a loyal sheep that follows him around and never leaves his side he places a bell around it's neck. The sound of the bell keeps the rest of the flock close by. This is to ensure that none of the sheep "stray" off or get into trouble, but rather stay close to the shepherd. The loyal sheep is called a bell sheep. As a mother, I am to be the bell sheep for my daughter. God is my shepherd. I can lecture her, scold her, discuss things with her, yell at her, or discipline her all day... but we all know actions speak louder than words. The best thing I can do for my little girl is to be the example she needs in her life. As the same-sex parent, I am the most influential person when it comes to teaching her how to be a Godly woman. Have I been doing this? I give myself a D+ in this area. The more God has convicted me about this subject, the more I have examined my life and I realize I haven't been measuring up. Some may say I'm too hard on myself. Let me explain:

I've heard parents say they wish kids came with instructions. Well, they do. Deuteronomy 6:5-9 says:

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.


There it is. Love God with all of yourself and let your kids see Him in your life. This is the greatest thing I can do for Gracey as her mom, and of course pray for her. Have I done this all her life? Nope. I've failed miserably. But through my prayer for her, God has shown me what I need to do. And I pray that He continues to change my heart from the inside out that I may be everything she needs. I want to be her bell sheep.